Breakaway
by Prisoner of Azkaban711
Summary: Written for the Quidditch League Round 4 - Remus is struggling with the solitude, and knows that nothing could ever happen between himself and Tonks. She, however, is not going to give up that easily.


Author's note: This is written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition (Round 4) "Get those feelings out"

Task: Write about emotion: Lonely. Forbidden words: Lonely/loneliness.

Prompts used: (song) Demons-Imagine Dragons, (word) overwhelmed and (word) dawn

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Wind whistled through the dingy corridor at Grimmauld Place as a small party of cloaked figures stepped through the open door. Flakes of snow covered them and drifted inside, travelling on breeze.

Christmas had come and gone, but the days were still frightfully cold as it rolled into the New Year.

Remus sat unaccompanied at the large oak table in the kitchen, reading a book and quietly watching the company in the dark space ahead. The rabble in the hallway quietened down with the witches and wizards dispersing into various rooms of the cavernous house.

Remus turned his attention back to the worn pages of his book and did not notice one of the returning party walk through the door into darkening room.

Tonks lowered the hood of her deep blue cloak which revealed her short hair, which today was a deep plum. She smirked as stood in the doorway watching the expression on Remus' face change as he read through the passage of text.

Remus jumped in his chair as Tonks cleared her throat, causing him to drop the leather bound book on the table and lose his place. He looked up at her from his seat with mingled surprise and annoyance as she attempted to suppress a giggle.

"I'm so sorry, Remus," she said, biting her lip to prevent herself falling into a fit of laughter at his reaction.

"It's nothing," Remus muttered, picking the book back up from the scratched surface and finding his page again, "I just thought I was on my own." His cheeks flushed slightly as he tried not to look at her.

He quickly rose from the chair and made to leave the room, keeping his head down as he moved towards her.

"Remus, I didn't mean to be… You don't need to leave," Tonks said quickly, immediately losing sight of the humour in the situation. She placed a hand on his arm as he tried to move around her in the doorway, but he shied away from her touch and disappeared into the hallway.

Tonks let out a sigh as her shoulders drooped forward. Whatever she did around that man never seemed to go the way she expected. Whilst looking down at the flagstone floor, she became aware of the sound of footsteps on the wooden slates behind her.

Hoping it was Remus coming back, she spun around but instead of being met with deep emerald eyes, she found herself face to face with a pair of warm grey ones instead.

"Alright, Tonks," Sirius grinned, before he saw the expression on her face. "Everything alright?"

Tonks let out another sigh before telling Sirius what had happened. There was no point in hiding it from him; Sirius had a special way of finding out anything that he took an interest in knowing.

"Just give him some time," Sirius told her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder and entering the kitchen. "He's been on his own for a long time and he's afraid to let anyone get too close, just… don't lose hope."

Sirius smiled back at her as he walked away, leaving Tonks to think on his words.

OoOoO

Remus spent the next few days trying to avoid the metamorphmagus. He tried to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest at the thought of how his isolation must be hurting her, instead burying himself in books from Sirius' library.

Since James and Lily's deaths, Remus had grown used to the solitude that he had been left with. His only friends had been torn away and his self-loathing subconscious had convinced him that it had been his fault and the isolation was his penance for being a monster.

All those years he had spent alone. Allowing Tonks to convince herself that something could ever happen between them, friendship or something more, was wrong, wasn't it?

He wanted to hide away the truth from her, just to keep the bright light of hope alive, but knew it was too cruel. She had to know what he really was, how he could hurt her.

Despite his best efforts, Remus did encounter Tonks again.

He had been awake since the early light of dawn, finishing yet another tome from the Black family's collection and was eager to find another to occupy his time with.

Opening the door to the library one morning, Remus collided with someone who let out a squeal of surprise. Quickly, he attempted to apologise before realising who it was that he had hit. He froze as bright pink hair bobbed in front of him. Hastily, he tried to retreat back through the doorway.

"What have I done, Remus?" Tonks asked before he could properly leave the room.

Turning back around, Remus lowered his gaze to the floor and sighed deeply. This was it. She had to know.

Preparing himself, he took a deep breath and finally he looked up. His eyes met hers and he could see how unsure she was and how much sadness his distance had caused.

"You've done nothing, Dora. I just… I want to protect you. I want to shelter you from the pain that the wolf inside of me would cause. There is nowhere in the world where we could be safe, where I couldn't hurt you. I can't hide from it. Anywhere. I didn't want to be around you, so that maybe you'd leave it alone, so you could be happy with someone else," His eyes glistened with unshed tears that threatened to spill over his lashes, completely overwhelmed by the situation.

"Remus, I don't think that you're a monster. You're just-"

"No, Tonks, I'm not like everyone else. I'm dangerous!" Remus replied, his voice raising. He reached for Tonks' shoulders and held them tightly, making sure that she was looking into his eyes.

"Look, Tonks. You can almost see it. I have a… a demon bound and woven into my soul and I have to save you from it!" His tone had become desperate and he couldn't prevent the tears rolling down his cheeks.

Tonks continued to look into his eyes, watching the sparkling droplets fall down his scarred face. She couldn't help reaching up, placing one hand on his jawline and wiping away one tear with her thumb.

"You don't have to hide from me, Remus. Please, just listen," Tonks' eyes were glowing with hope and trust. Remus sighed slightly as he stared at her.

"That is what I'm protecting. That light in your eyes, your innocence and beauty, it needs saving. Please, Tonks…" Remus said, desperately trying to move away from her.

"Remus. You can escape this," she replied quickly, not giving up her fight. "Just take my hand and I'll show you…leave the solitude behind, please," Tonks replied determinedly, putting out her hand in front of her.

Remus looked at her outstretched hand with apprehension, all of his former doubt resurfacing in his mind. He couldn't do this. He'd be taking so much away from her. But this was his chance to move forward, to come out of the darkness with someone who wanted to help him. Perhaps, he had been alone too long…

Gingerly, he reached out and slipped his hand into hers, allowing her to show him how to escape the shadows that he had been trapped in.

 **A/N: Not my best work, but please leave a comment.**


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